Mara’s Dictionary – government; politics

government [s] – (n) a hinderance to the well-being of its people. (see also politics)

politics [s] – (n) a hinderance to the well-being of the people of other nations. (see also government)

See the rest of Mara’s Dictionary.

Mara’s Dictionary

Note: This is a dictionary of humour, not of actual accepted definitions in use, though some of it might have some truth in them.

Key: [s] = sustainability, [t] = theory, [b] = buddhism

biodiversity [s] – (n) a tertiary education institution divided into two distinct levels for the animal kingdom and humankind, with the former being higher.

decadance [s] – (n) [pronounced: dead can dance] 1. to live as though the ‘dead can dance’. 2. Title of I M Wallstreet’s 1985 bestseller, Decadance: Ten Ways to Waltz from Rags to (the) Riches.

differance [t] – (n) [pronounced: the France] The desconstruction term used to put France on the map (orig. late 20c. see also Derrida).

government [s] – (n) a hinderance to the well-being of its people. (see also politics)

internet security – (n. phr.) the warm fuzzy feeling one gets when one connects to their internet service provider and finds is not down due to server failure or maintenance.

no-soul [b] – (n) 1. what some people don’t have. 2. what some people don’t have.

park ranger [s] – (n) the electronic device on the back of modern cars that warn you before you reverse into an endangered tree.

politics [s] – (n) a hinderance to the well-being of the people of other nations. (see also government)

post-modern [t] – (v. ph.) [or post… modern] what most bloggers are doing when they write junk.

Shakyamuni [b] – (prop. n) the name used to denote the period in the Buddha’s life after he left his teachers to search for enlightenment alone. He is the distant relative of 1980s pop singer, Chaka Khan.

sustainable economics [s] – (n) what economists think is possible, but environmentalists do not.

sustainable politics [s] – (n) 1. a politician’s ability to continue to deceive the voters long after he has left office. 2. there is no such thing.

theory [t] – (n) what everybody believes their own to be right, but nobody can prove.

What is Mara’s Dictionary
I have always wanted to write my own dictionary. And now I have. It is called Mara’s Dictionary. Its style was inspired by “Wiley’s Dictionary” that regularly features in Johnny Hart’s very funny, very cynical BC comic strip. And the title is a tongue-in-cheek take on Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary.

Mara is the embodiment of death (and temptation) in Buddhism, which can be loosely equated to the Christian concept of the Devil. And all the words in the dictionary are related to the blog’s main theme – sustainability, the Buddha and theory – in some way.

I will continue to add new “definitions” as I go. Right now, I am aiming for a list of 50 words before the blog’s first anniversary (mid-February, 2007).

Environment and Sustainability Humour

Here is a list of ten of my favourite environment and sustainability jokes (not in any order). It is not so much that I find them funny but that because they have some truth in them. Enjoy.

  1. We need science to solve all the problems we wouldn’t have if there were no science.
  2. “If sunbeams were weapons of war, we would have had solar energy long ago.” Sir George Porter
  3. Gravity is a myth – the Earth sucks.
  4. Whenever he thought about the environment he felt absolutely terrible. So he came to a fateful decision. He decided not to think about it.
  5. The modern electric toothbrushes are having an effect on tooth care. In fact, my dentist was telling me that in Great Britain today, the major cause of tooth decay is weak batteries.
  6. Progress: the continuing effort to make things to be as good as they used to be.
  7. Have you ever noticed how modern developers operate? They bulldoze the trees and then name the streets after them!
  8. Most people in the city have come up from the country to make enough money to leave the city and live in the country.
  9. The government is finally doing something about energy conservation. They are asking motorists to remember to turn off their wind-screen wipers whenever they drive under a bridge.
  10. How wonderful it is to wake up in the middle of London every morning to the sounds of the birds coughing.

Know of any good sustainability humour? I would love to hear it.

See also Mara’s Dictionary